The methodologies of successful learning any trait of character or ability are basically similar. To learn something one should know:
1. What is it? – defining the trait of character or ability.
2. How this trait of character will be displayed?
3. To what extend do I need to gain or develop this or that trait of character?
4. What can I rely on (my personal capabilities, chakras)?
5. What am I ready to do for this?
6. What will I start from, how much time and what will I do for this?
7. When will I start: day, month, year, hour?
Let us take a look at each point in more details.
When we talk to other people we think that something that we can understand, other people understand that as well. And it seams to us that by the same words we mean the same notions but this vision is far from reality. That is why it is better to clarify the term “confidence” at first.
So, Point 1 - defining the trait of character or ability.
Here is, for instance, one of the definitions of such quality as effectiveness – “effectiveness is the ability to gain a planned aim in short terms with the minimal input of time and efforts”, and now we need to find a definition for “confidence”. This definition should be a general one. The definition of “confidence” but not three components by the levels of chakra: lower manipura (self-confidence or confidence and a person), middle manipura (self-confidence) and upper manipura (confidence within the group of people, for example: team, staff). There is one interesting definition – “to see the aim, to believe in yourself, not to care about the obstacles” or 100% confidence that you will succeed in your plans. More detailed consideration of this definition is not our task now.))
Point 2 is to distinguish confident person from diffident. Let’s take into consideration several manifestations which we can hear or see observing people, namely the speech and position of the body.
Steady speech with the same velocity;
Absence of pauses and halts (ah, eh, h’m and so on);
Presence of the pronoun “I” (or “to me”, “my”, “to my mind” etc.);
Ability to say “yes”, “no”;
Ability to get into contact with somebody (to start up or to finish a conversation/communication);
Finishing the phrases with the verbs of the Imperative Mood: go, take, go on etc.;
Increasing the loudness of the speech its velocity is preserved the same;
When laughing the chest is straight or becomes disclosed.
2. Position of the body
Ability to stay in a comfortable, stable pose;
Turning to an interlocutor with the whole torso;
Occupying the center of a free space unconsciously;
Gestures coincide with the speech;
Point 3 – what are the advantages of self-confidence?
Ability to prioritize personal interests;
Self-respect and respect to personal opinion;
Ability to defend personal point of view (personal opinion) or ability to have one’s own way;
Ability to take the first step in a business, in relations, in a task etc.;
Ability to reach, to gain personal aims;
Ability to obtain the aims in short terms;
This person lives his own life (not what is dictated to him/her);
This person decides himself what and how to do;
If he has a desire he can be in the center of attention;
Ability to manage and be a leader;
As for Point 4 – you should answer this question yourself. You should write or remember your 7 best to your opinion qualities and abilities (skills).
Point 5 and 6, it is actions. Below is the table that contains several definite actions (definite by time and amount of times) that are directed to develop self-confidence (middle manipura).
Point 7: When will I start? – here “it’s up to you!”)) For example, 05.16.2007 at 12.10 pm.
It is important to note that such words as: I’ll try, I’ll see, - destroy manipura and decrease self-confidence.
It is better to start and then to see what will happen. Good luck to you in that what will happen)).
|How and by what means can I develop self-confidence most effectively and in the shortest terms?|
|№||What do I do?||How much do I do?|
|1||I praise and appreciate; find success in my personal actions.||3 times per day.|
|2||I make acquaintance and communicate with successful and self-confident people.||1person per week, 20 minutes per day.|
|3||I find positive in negative (if you’ve lost a cell phone, you can buy a new model).||4 situations per day.|
|4||I learn from my personal positive experience and other people experience (learn from successful experience not only by mistakes)||2 situations per week.|
|5||Between words I listen to silence (I do not fill pauses with sounds like eh, ah, etc.)||30 minutes per day.|
|6||I start phrases with a personal pronoun “I” and finish the utterance with a verb in the Imperative Mood: “I would like to know how much it costs, tell me”, “I am interested in this red jacket, how much it costs, tell me”.||5 phrases every day, at the market, in the shop or café.|
|7||I speak a bit louder than usually.||20 minutes per day|
|8||I write down during a day phrases and thoughts that decrease confidence ( I do not know, I can not, I will not be able) and in the evening I fill in the form-factor (as for this I know this and this..., in this case I can do this and that)||Every day during 1 month.|
|9||I work with the situations from the past where I showed diffidence, I reconsider them finding positive in them.||2 situations per week.|
|10||I imagine how a confident person would act in a certain situation.||1 situation per week.|
|11||When I am standing I occupy the center of a free space.||3 minutes, 3 times per day.|
|12||I train the prelum (with connective breath – inhalation is changed into exhalation)||2 sets.|
|13||I walk with the stress on a foot arch.||20 minutes per day.|
|14||In respiration I concentrate on abdominal respiration (with participation of manipura – prelum zone)||15 minutes per day.|
|15||I make bends lying on the floor with the hands and legs spread (lying on the abdomen on the floor, stretching upwards)||5 times.|
|16||I inhale with the open mouth making sound “ha!” and exhale producing sound “hi!”||15 minutes per day.|
|17||I spill a great amount of cold water over myself (with connective respiration)||1 time in the morning.|
|I do the exercises till I CAN DO, each exercise in 2-3 sets.|
|I spill cold water over myself before physical exercises or not earlier than 30 minutes before. After physical training I keep silent for 10-20 minutes.|
|I finish physical training with the exercises activating an important zone of prelum (top, middle, bottom).|
|18||I buy clothes that improve self-confidence.||Saving 10% from my earnings.|
|19||I realize my decisions straight afterword I made them (if I decided to call – I take the receiver at once and dial a number)||3 times per day.|
|20||I pronounce affirmations that improve self-confidence. For example: “Every day I become more self-confident’, “Every day it is easier and easier for me to make acquaintance with other people”||3 times in front of the mirror in a loud voice in the morning and in the evening.|
|21||I use phrases of positive mood: “I can”, “I will be able”, “if not me then who?”||10 times per day.|