There are exist four couple relations (in a family).
We all know what for a human being comes to the Earth – to study. As we are studying constantly, from our first scream for our mum and dad to hear us until the last moment when, as they say, the whole life passes by your eyes.
It is evident that each person in the couple is not an exception, they also have come to the Earth to study and besides “individual” studying they need to master ability to live and be partners in a couple. Couple relations are the relations between two people, for example between a husband and a wife, between a parent and a child, between a chief manager and subordinate, friends, colleagues, etc.
What can we teach our partner? We can teach him what we can do better than he does and he can also teach us what he does better than we can. There is also a very important moment: to study together with a partner like in a pair dance – in waltz, to move as one single whole. But we talk about that later. An important feature is when I teach a partner and he teaches me, so there are two active persons. If I simply study from my partner without perceiving him as a teacher than gradually I destroy a couple with such attitude. Such method works well when we chose an ideal (Lao dzu, Socrates) and then we act comparing our actions with the ones how our partner would act in a certain situation; but when we treat a person by our side like this we unconsciously become aloof from him/her.
Relations between two different people are unique but they all can be divided into four types:
Symbiotic – supplemental – when two persons represent in couple what each of them can become in a result of their constructive joint development. In other words, when leading skills and qualities of one person are diametrically different from skills and qualities of another person. For example, a husband is a business man with two leading chakras, manipura and svadhistana, - active, energetic, easy in communication; and his wife is with a leading anahata and muladhara, - kind, calm and sweet woman. It is very important for symbiotic couple to teach each other those qualities which are more developed in one person than in another.
But it often happens that people who live together in symbiotic scenario instead of developing a partner study themselves, still continue to develop their strong qualities – ants work more and more, and dragonflies more and more get pleasure from their careless life. As a man’s mission in life is to study then this couple will loose warmth and trust, or a matter of divorce may arise, or one can seek happiness away from home. The only common problems are up-bringing common children. To avoid this one should find a constructive way out of a symbiotic scenario trying to find more appropriate methods of teaching a partner and helping him/her to teach you.
The variant “I have tried but I did not succeed” is not acceptable, you must do so that you will succeed.
Purposeful relations – when both partners have similar qualities, abilities and skills (businessmen who can invest their money in their business, scientists, military men, esoterics).
Two self-confident leaders (with strong manipura) buy a building in the city center for holding different activities, or two entrepreneurs build a hotel or a trading center. Two scientists create a formula of a new medicine. Two similar looking singers create a group. For this scenario the aim is important and both persons are learning in the process of reaching this aim. Here learning takes place in the process of common reaching aim unlike in symbiotic relations where learning consists of developing the other person.
Teaching (type of relations) – when one partner is a confident and intelligent personality specialist in any field) and the other partner is not yet. For example, a trainer and a sportsman beginner, an instructor and a teacher. In this scenario it is important that a pupil followed as much as possible his teacher and a teacher spoke his pupil’s language. In this type of relations a couple is more concentrated on themselves. When learning finishes it is necessary to enter another stage of relations either without a task/aim to study a couple can break up.
Ideal – equal relations – when a couple consists of two confident, intelligent, mature personalities. The main task here is to help a partner revealing one’s potential, preserve what was reached and to be a part of a couple remaining a self-confident individual.
P.S. We all strive for an ideal scenario, it does not matter in what relations we are. In each couple there are features of all four scenarios but in most cases one scenario dominates and more often it is symbiotic.
Table №1 Yan - male
Table №2 Yin – female
In these tables the participants of a training write in positive sense what they need to teach their partner and what their partner needs to teach them. Next they choose two – three main qualities, abilities and skills and work on them.
P.S. In the analysis of the qualities we see that any good quality developed to the extreme becomes a flow.
For example, greediness is a thrift developed to the extreme, generosity without limits transformates into wastefulness. As it was mentioned you should fill in the table only positive skills and abilities of a partner because you will need to learn then these qualities. For example, not egoism but ability to put ones’ interests on the first place; not irritability but directness, etc.
As a funny example, let’s take two well known characters from cartoon about Winnie-the-Pooh.
|A Rabbit (can teach Piglet). Leading chakras – ajna, vishudha, mulathara.||Piglet (can teach Rabbit). Leading chakras – anahata, svadhistana.|
|Planning||Ability to live in present|
|Responsibility||Delegation of powers |
As it is seen from the table neither Piglet, nor Rabbit has such chakra as manipura. They both need to train this chakra. Though comparing with Piglet, Rabbit has a bit of manipura – middle and low.